Be A Pain

In giving advice seek to help, not to please, your friend.  ~ Solon ~

When you give advice and feedback, ensure that you are being honest and upfront.  It's OK to tread lightly so you don't hurt esteem, however, watch out.  When you soften your feedback or advice the seriousness could get lost.  Your help as a leader should never be harmful but it is sometimes painful.  However, you can be tough and caring at the same time.  Just know that your help is caring and remember, the other person's perception of caring is all in the delivery and the support.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:


I give caring, honest and helpful feedback.

Scary Moments

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. ~ Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911 ~

"Next time, I will_______!" You can fill in the blank.  Experience really makes you who you are as a person, as a leader.  Even when you account for risk, something always happens for which you didn't plan.  Those heart racing moments teach you and embed the lessons you need to remember.  These events are important.  They give you the chance to grow.  As a leader, you can dispense advice and be a great mentor but those that follow you will only grow when they are thrown into the deep end.   Don't coddle those around you.  Challenge them to learn the hard way.  Not the mean way but the way that shows you care about them as people.  When things get hairy - ask them questions that really make them think about what they would do differently.  That is coaching, that is teaching...that is leadership.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I will help others learn from the scary moments.