Strong Leaders Don't Make Weak Apologies

A stiff apology is a second insult.... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. ~G.K. Chesterton~

None one is perfect.  You will make mistakes.  When it effects other people an apology is the first step to mending any wrong.   You should heal the insult, even when you don't believe it was an insult.  It's about the other person, not you.  You must be authentic in caring about how you make others feel.  Apologies are even important to people you don't know that well because it speaks to character.   It is a way for people to not have the wrong impression about you.  If you give in inauthentic apology then people will see a flawed leader.  Give a sincere apology after a mistake then people will look past the flaw and see a noble leader.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

"I am a stronger leader when I give sincere apologies."

Put Yourself Out There

Boldness is a mask for fear, however great. ~ John Dryden ~

You might have heard the phase, "Never let them see you sweat."  There is some value in that statement.  It's not that you want to be false in your confidence.  Instead think of it this way -- there is research that suggests you can become more powerful if you hold yourself in a powerful pose.  So, perhaps if you make bold choices despite your fear, then perhaps you will help reduce that fear.  Confidence comes from experience.  Act as if the first time is really the second or third time.  Great leaders are fearful, just like you.  The only difference is that they aren't timid.  They don't act scared.  They act bold.  Act as if you aren't scared. Act until you become bold - until you become confident.  Put yourself out there - no one will find you until you do.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I am bold even when I am fearful. 

Be Humble; Be Noble

Be humble for you are made of earth, Be noble for you are made of stars. ~ Serbian proverb ~

There is a duality that exists in leadership.  You must, at the same time, be a  charismatic-confident-visionary and a humble-inclusive-servant.  Leaders must be touchable but also special.  Do you accept both roles?  Can you see how the best leadership must find a way to practice assertiveness and humility?  People only follow those who are sure of themselves.  They will follow you if you feel you can lead the way.  At the same time, arrogance will not get you the respect you need to lead - think of it more as a special ability that is not about you but about the purpose or mission. Remember, this ability is a gift and you must be gracious.  True, it is a fine line, but there are no options to only be one or the other.  Lead with your head held high and your arms held out.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I will be humble and confident in my abilities.

Choose Inspiration Over Manipulation

"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower ~

Motivating other people is part manipulation and part inspiration.  Which one would you rather practice?  Inspiration?  No doubt.  However, have you assessed your behavior lately? How much of your time is spent as a motivator and how much is spent as an inspirer?  Be brutally honest.   No one is in your head right now.  If you answer manipulator more than 20% of your time, you will need to revisit your values.  Don’t make excuses about why you practice manipulation over inspiration.  The first reaction might be to justify your behavior.  Stop.  The second reaction could be guilt or regret.  Stop.  If you are a victim, you are not a leader.

To begin to flip manipulation into inspiration review your values.  Are your behaviors in alignment with your principles?  Next, what is your agenda?  Is it about you or them? Do you feel confident or fearful?  How well do you know the people you lead?  Have you taken the time to know what matters to them?

As a leader, you must operate within your values system.  If you are fearful, act courageous.  Get to know others sincerely and have faith in them.  Lead from the heart and you will be an inspiration.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

“I choose to lead with inspiration.”

Listen With a Kind Heart

To be kind is sometimes more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but, a special heart that listens. ~ Unknown

If you want to be a leader just to show others how smart you are then you are not a leader but a small person who needs to build confidence.  I always teach in my leadership, conflict and customer service courses that a sure fire way too get others to believe you in you, is to let go of being right all the time.  Becoming a leader is all about relationship building.  Relationship building is not about showing how smart you are or how you might be the best.  It's about how can you make the other person feel like the best.   In conflict, pick your battles.  It isn't necessary to always win but it is necessary to make the other person feel important and special. 

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

"I will set aside my need to be right and show true leadership by listening with a kind heart."