Be A Pain

In giving advice seek to help, not to please, your friend.  ~ Solon ~

When you give advice and feedback, ensure that you are being honest and upfront.  It's OK to tread lightly so you don't hurt esteem, however, watch out.  When you soften your feedback or advice the seriousness could get lost.  Your help as a leader should never be harmful but it is sometimes painful.  However, you can be tough and caring at the same time.  Just know that your help is caring and remember, the other person's perception of caring is all in the delivery and the support.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:


I give caring, honest and helpful feedback.

Shut your mind up!

The word 'listen' contains the same letters as the word 'silent'. ~ Alfred Brendel ~

The best way to listen is to not only silence your mouth but silence your mind.  You often let your own biases and agenda keep you from listening. How do you develop as a leader if you are never silent around your those that lead.  Next time someone has something to say, shut down your feelings and open up.  In addition, don't always contribute...ask questions instead. You can't truely listen if you are too busy prepping in your mind what you want to say.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

"I quiet my own thoughts when someone is talking."

Strong Leaders Don't Make Weak Apologies

A stiff apology is a second insult.... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. ~G.K. Chesterton~

None one is perfect.  You will make mistakes.  When it effects other people an apology is the first step to mending any wrong.   You should heal the insult, even when you don't believe it was an insult.  It's about the other person, not you.  You must be authentic in caring about how you make others feel.  Apologies are even important to people you don't know that well because it speaks to character.   It is a way for people to not have the wrong impression about you.  If you give in inauthentic apology then people will see a flawed leader.  Give a sincere apology after a mistake then people will look past the flaw and see a noble leader.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

"I am a stronger leader when I give sincere apologies."

Do Something…Anything

Fake it till you become it.  ~ Amy Cuddy ~

Some days you just don't feel it.  Try.  Try, anyway.  Even if it's just a little effort, don't slack off.  Be honest with yourself and then lie to yourself.  Tell yourself that you are engaged -  just do something because people are counting on you.  You can have an off day - just don't show it to the world.  Have a confidant because you might need someone to vent to but leave it at that and go change the world...even if you don't feel like it today.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

"I make myself feel more engaged."

"Busy" Doesn't Always Cut It

Don't mistake activity with achievement. ~ John Wooden ~

Treading water is certainly a form of swimming but it'll never win you a gold medal in a relay race.  You work hard.  It's true.  But just because you are busy at work, it doesn't mean you are accomplishing anything.  First, are you working on the things that matter?  Second, are you easily distracted when working on important tasks? Finally, is it more important to check off a to-do list or more important to have solved an critical problem? 

Ask yourself at the end of each day.  "What have I accomplished?"  Don't think in terms of tasks completed but rather what propelled you forward in the achievement of goals.  As a leader, never get fooled by your "busy" workers.  Ask them the same question.  "What did you accomplish today?"  Then: "How did that help us move toward our desired results?"

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

"I'm busy on the tasks that will help me succeed."

Don’t Dwell Too Long

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.  ~ Marcus Antonius ~

Think about the last time you were really upset.  How did it make you feel?  How much energy did you use? Anger, frustration, and stress are normal emotions.  It's OK to get mad.  It's how you use your anger that will make the difference.  Do you use it as an excuse to be a victim?  Try instead to use is it as a motivator.  Think about why you are angry and what you can do about it - not how you can control the other person but, what you can do about yourself.  Great leaders will take the time to experience emotions and then they use it to learn.  Try not to dwell and you'll be stronger.


I experience my anger and I then move on.

Play to Win

Where the loser saw barriers, the winner saw hurdles. ~ Robert Brault ~

How do see difficulties?  Are they huge mountains that you can't see a way around?  Do you use words like "impossible" or "never?"  As a leader, take an assessment of your reactions the next time a challenge comes your way.  Do you begin with the possibilities or the impossibilities?  Do you shut down and assume that there is nothing that you can do?  If you find yourself wondering what you can do as opposed to what you can't do - then you are a visionary.  Leaders must strive to always see what they can do in any situation - and never give up on the dream. As a leader, help others to see what is possible.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

"I see obstacles and I still move forward."

No Excuses

One of the most important tasks of a manager is to eliminate his people's excuses for failure. ~ Robert Townsend ~

The difference between explanations and excuses is credibility.  How do you gain credibility?  By focusing on what you can do as opposed to what you can't do.  Never point fingers.  Loose the blame game.  Take ownership.  Always renegotiate.  Find a new path.  Ask questions.  Trust.  Try.  Coach. Turn frustrations into motivation.  Stay positive.  Don't complain.  Find humor. Make commitments instead of promises. Read the definition of credibility and live up to it, so you can teach others how to do the same.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I build credibility in myself and others.

Put Yourself Out There

Boldness is a mask for fear, however great. ~ John Dryden ~

You might have heard the phase, "Never let them see you sweat."  There is some value in that statement.  It's not that you want to be false in your confidence.  Instead think of it this way -- there is research that suggests you can become more powerful if you hold yourself in a powerful pose.  So, perhaps if you make bold choices despite your fear, then perhaps you will help reduce that fear.  Confidence comes from experience.  Act as if the first time is really the second or third time.  Great leaders are fearful, just like you.  The only difference is that they aren't timid.  They don't act scared.  They act bold.  Act as if you aren't scared. Act until you become bold - until you become confident.  Put yourself out there - no one will find you until you do.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I am bold even when I am fearful. 

Make Things Happen

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” ~ Leonardo da Vinci ~

If you think instant success is really instant you need to start interviewing people.  Talk to those who have seemingly overnight success and ask them about their journey.  You might hear about struggles and failures or they might tell you that it was easy when they were following the right path.   The one thing in common is they will tell you that you have to do the work.  No one will hand you everything you need to be successful.  Some will have advantage but in the end it's the work that gets the accomplishment.  Great leaders do something everyday to get to their success.  Never mind about your starting point - Just Do It!

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I work towards my success everyday.

Forget Perfection

Let's be honest.  There's not a business anywhere that is without problems.  Business is complicated and imperfect.  Every business everywhere is staffed with imperfect human beings and exists by providing a product or service to other imperfect human beings.  ~ Bob Parsons ~

Most of our bad behaviors and choices comes from attempting to attain perfection.  The perfect product, the perfect customer, the perfect service, the perfect employee.  Let it go.  Mindful leaders know that it is more important to focus on the reasons we do what we do.  Why did you make this career choice?  Why did you go into this industry?  What value do you bring to the world? To society?  To your community? What is your purpose?  If you lead with a good intent, you will automatically do your best.  When you do your best, you let go of negative feelings and poor decisions.  When you try your best, that is in of itself perfection.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I focus on always trying my best.

Embrace Your Weaknesses

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. ~ African Proverb ~

Loving yourself is this best defense.  When people are hateful they will target your weaknesses.  Protect your weaknesses by accepting them as part of you.  As a very necessary part of you.  Begin by taking away the hurt and pain of your weakness, then no one can attack them.  No one can attack you.  When you practice mindfulness then you understand that your weak parts give you the reason to explore and grow.  You also, begin to understand that others weaknesses are important and attacking them only hurts their growth.  You must forgive their weaknesses.  The journey in life is to share and cultivate your strengths together and to make your weaknesses irrelevant.  When you embrace weaknesses they become less controlling and you become more powerful.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I embrace my weaknesses and do the same for others.

Act Respectful

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” ~ Albert Einstein ~

The concept of respect can be difficult.   What is respect?  It seems to be different for everyone.  What are the behaviors? Take the time to really think about it and make a list.  Do you live up to those standards that you just listed or is this just what you expect of others?  You want respect but do you give it equally?  Rare is the person or organization that doesn't acknowledge respect as a value in some form or another.  Yet, it still seems to be elusive. If everyone decided to begin to act respectful on an everyday basis to all people then that would be a simple way for everyone to receive respect. 

You may think that some people don't deserve your respect.  Perhaps, but it doesn't mean they can't be treated with respect.  When you refuse to treat others respectfully you, in turn, become just like them and don't deserve respectful treatment yourself.  Mindful leaders rise above poor behavior and do the right thing.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I act respectful to everyone. 

Lose Worry; Be Inspirational

If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of becoming a prophet. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer ~

Worry is something that will wear others down.  You will begin to make them take on this unnecessary emotion and they will become unmotivated to try to attain goals.  Emotions will have a huge impact on whether you achieve and if people don't think you will succeed then they won't even bother trying. When you are a leader, it is up to you to allay fears.  You are to be the calm person of reason.  You should be the visionary hopeful.  Not in a naive way, but instead, become more of someone who promotes things in a positive and possible way.  Practicing mindfulness will help you visualize achievement! People will want to follow you if they think you can attain success.  It is up to you to have the vision and it’s up to you to inspire others to drive for the end results.  It is then much easier to triumph.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

“I inspire others to believe in success.” 

 

Don't Label

"It is ridiculous for any man to criticize the works of another if he has not distinguished himself by his own performances." ~ Joseph Addison ~

When you judge others, it says more about you than it does the person you are judging.  Do you rate people with an idealized scale of perfection that is not attainable?  When was the last time you called someone an idiot for a "dumb move?"  It is easier to give a global label to someone than it is to step back and weigh in on the error/mistake/faux pas.  You are not an instrument of flawlessness and you are fallible just like everyone else in the world.  You are also not necessarily stupid, incompetent or a jerk. When you practice mindfulness, you can begin to see mistakes as something you have or could have done yourself.  You become more humble and thus, people are more apt to open up to you, admit thier faults and trust you as a leader - if they see you as a real person.  This will clear the path to improvement - for both of you. 

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I will be more humble and accepting.

Courage to Lead

Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and

no concept of the odds against them. ~Robert Jarvik

If you are only looking at the mud in which your foot is stuck, then you will not see the stick that will help you get out.  If you foucus on fear and obstacles, then that is your whole world.  You will be unable to see your success.  Turn your mind to courage and abilities.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and wisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

"I will be courageous and think beyond the obstacles."

Rethink Your Burdens

“It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.” ~ Lou Holtz ~

Have you ever seen those women who carry buckets of water on their heads? Despite the weight they seem to do it with ease. How?  First, they accept that it is a burden they must carry in order to survive.  Why the head?  There are many theories but let's assume it's because that is the best way for them.  Next, is training.  No one picks up a bucket of water and walks for miles without some practice.   Consider the life burdens that you carry with you every day.   Would you like your burdens to be easier? Try using your head.  They are a part of your life, so you are going to have to figure out a way to carry them in peace.  Much like starting to carry water on the head, peace with your burdens will not happen overnight.

Begin with rethinking your burdens.  Practice mindfulness to help in the process.  How necessary is this burden?  Is there a better way to deal with it?  Relative to yourself and others, is this burden as heavy as you think it is?  Can you drop it?  If you can't remove it, right now, how can you make it easier?  Perhaps it not even a burden but a blessing.   Mindful leaders take the time to discard the useless burdens and embrace the real ones as part of life's journey.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I will remove unreal burdens and carry the important ones with ease.

Learn to Like People

“Nobody will listen to you unless they sense that you like them.” ~ Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz ~

Leading is a people job.  If you want people to listen to you, learn to like people.  True, you won't like everyone in this world but try to remember that everyone has value.  Those that you lead - especially.  They know if you don't like them and there is not a chance that they will ever buy in to you, much less listen to you, unless you can get to a place in which you like them.  Study them.  List out the reasons you don't like them and figure out how those things can actually be a strength to your team, division, or organization.  Those things that annoy you just might actually be the difference maker...in a postive way.  True leaders see the beauty even in the flawed.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I will find value in all people.

Money is Not Holding You Back

"I don't dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living." ~ Steven Spielberg ~

Dreaming is the easy part.  It's the belief that you can't make your dreams happen that is the hard obstacle to overcome.  You may claim that you don't dream and that you stay grounded in reality.  But everyone plays the game, "What would you do if you won the mega lotto?!"  Try it now.  If you aren't already living the life you think you want to live - then what is holding you back?  Money?  Really? Most likely it's your belief systems.  Let go of external attribution and review your own self-defeating thoughts.  Your own mind holds you back. Start with the belief that you can achieve.  Dream and then decide that there are no other options but to attain.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:


I believe that I can achieve my dreams.

Take a Chance

Thrivers constantly re-invent themselves, they are mentally agile and willing to risk. ~ David McNally ~

You are just going to have to put yourself out there.  Turtles don't get anywhere until they stick their heads and legs out of their shell.  Get moving, get to it, get out there!  You will not truly grow until you have taken a chance on yourself and your ideas.  Never fear that an idea doesn't work, as you can always find another one.  All great leaders have taken a risk on more than one occasion! They adjust and try again. It starts with being mindful and having confidence in you own abilities.  If you don't get out there and try, then the world will never benefit from your gifts.  Be willing to risk.

1. Close your eyes
2. Breathe
3. Empty your mind
4. As thoughts come in, acknowledge and whisk them away
5. Focus on your breathing
6. Think about the affirmation:

I will take chance in order to thrive.